My uncle, brother and nephews, geared up for a round of golf.
The boys were wearing matching outfits, but everyone was attired in a similar style.
They smiled for the camera, in synch, and that was that.
It reminded me, though, of a poolside conversation from a couple of summers ago.
I was at my uncle’s house, and sat between him and my cousin, Jordan.
(Who’s made several appearances in my writing over the years. Great guy.)
My uncle was extolling the values of The Golf Lifestyle.
Doing business on the course.
Dinner at the club.
Friends.
Music.
Great people.
I mentioned that he seemed to be speaking past me, to my cousin, rather than to both of us.
Was it possible I wasn’t being invited into The Golf Lifestyle?
At the time, I was overweight, and probably unkempt. Drinking, smoking weed, eating way too much.
We were all partying that day, and of course I was just kidding, but as my uncle stammered, it was clear I’d struck a nerve.
I actually WASN’T being invited into The Golf Lifestyle.
Only Jordan, who politely declined.
I’m pretty sure that was September 2022, though there’s a chance it was May 2021.
Not that it matters, as I was in bad physical shape during both phases.
(I even used being overweight as a precondition to get an early Covid shot.)
Though I had creativity back then, to help with life stress, (and I did practice less difficult Martial Arts,) I was never truly fit.
Not since high school, when I played soccer, basketball, and was a sprinter on the track team.
Decades of relative inactivity...
... until I was pushed to sign up for Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.
I’ve given the background before, but the gist is, after my martial arts mentor, Dave Duran, passed away in 2022, I was looking for a guide.
My new Sifu, (now Professor,) Lawrence Garcia, who is the most lethal person I know, told me if I wanted to be an instructor in his Jeet Kune Do program, (Street MMA,) I had to study BJJ.
Fully commit.
I’d been scared to do so, hearing about all the injuries, especially as I’d trained 10 times or so in the past, and knew how grueling it could be.
Still, I didn’t have much going on, and felt it was the right time to challenge myself.
I took my free class at Jesse Jacquez BJJ at the end of January 2023, and signed a year contract the following week.
Which means I’ve been living The Jiu Jitsu lifestyle for more than a year and a half.
It’s changed me in such profound ways, and requires so much specificity at my age, (50,) that I wanted to write about it today.
The short version is, the amount of healthy practices one has to adopt, to keep going, is astonishing.
(Most people quit.)
Let me now extoll the virtues.
To start, I lost a lot of weight.
Fat melted off.
The cardio is intense, and all the losing breaks the spirt down from the jump.
(As BJJ classes require sparring each time.)
I started bulky, which led me to be overconfident throwing my weight around, (literally,) so the first injury was cauliflower ear.
Painful shit, but don’t lead with your head, is the lesson.
From there, it was some slightly torn cartilage in my ribs.
Then a torn big toe ligament.
Followed by having my scapula knocked out of alignment in JKD training.
I was clear for a few months, but then a slightly sprained neck in Nov 2023, a sprained knee in March 2024, and finally, the pinnacle, my slightly torn elbow ligament in mid July.
Almost anyone will tell you their injury list, and it’s recited with pride, though listeners often think the sport just sounds crazy.
But what has it made me adopt?
As I said, at first, I lost all the weight, but the repeated injuries spoke to my body’s misalignment.
(From old injuries/surgery.)
I responded by working on my flexibility/mobility, diving deep into yoga.
That lead me to the UNM-Taos Yoga Teacher Training Program, where Jessie and I took a 40 hour training.
I was more flexible, but not strong enough.
Eventually, you realize that weight is helpful, and Professor Lawrence encouraged me to start lifting.
I bought some kettlebells, and began doing functional strength workouts at home, along with the yoga, but was intimidated by the gym.
Still, I was losing, as my quickness and speed did nothing for me.
I lacked technique, and wasn’t strong enough to push back.
I’ve written about this in bits and pieces, but in order to feel stronger, I started making healthy protein fruit smoothies in the mornings, and then having two protein muscle milk shakes a day too.
Alcohol went away at some point, and then smoking.
(Now I just eat gummies.)
Each injury requires weeks/months of Hatha Yoga/Pilates, to work out the misalignment that led to the injury.
Over the course of the journey, I went from 185 lbs to 145, then put on 15 lbs of muscle to settle in around 160.
The last bit comes from taking creatine, and lifting weights for about 6 hours a week at the gym now. (3x a week.)
In order to support The Jiu Jitsu lifestyle, I have a healthier diet, don’t drink or smoke, I lift, have cardio, eat cleaner, and also do Qi Gong/ Tai Chi movements, to help keep the energy flowing.
I put my legs up on the bar at the gym, like a ballerina, and use neighborhood gates too.
(Flexiblity in body, mind and spirit.)
To get to the black belt level normally takes about 10 years.
That’s a decade of opening your hips, building your muscles, ripping and rebuilding your connective tissues, changing your self-belief.
Learning you can take a licking and keep on ticking.
Realizing challenges make us stronger, better versions of ourselves.
I know my family wouldn’t be moving to San Diego, had Amelie and I not started Jiu Jitsu.
Never.
Because moving is a difficult, stressful process.
So we break it down into pieces, knowing we can handle the pressure and keep going.
Looking back, I’m glad I wasn’t invited into The Golf Lifestyle.
The Jiu Jitsu Lifestyle isn’t for everyone, but it’s just right for me. (And Amelie.)
Sunshine and Olly 
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