Sunshine and Olly

by Jonathan Blaustein

Let’s get some business out of the way first, shall we?

Not only did I correctly predict the Super Bowl winner, and the margin of victory, but I nearly got the damn score right too!

It was 38-35 Chiefs.

I said it would be 34-31.

Sunshine and Olly is only 1.5 weeks old, and already, you can trust me for proper sports analysis.

Hopefully, you’ll learn to trust me about other things too, if you don’t already. (Due to my 600+ article track-record as a blogger.)

Here’s a good piece of life advice, if you’d like one, as I sit on the couch this cold, gray Monday Morning in the Rocky Mountains:

Nobody likes to get punched (or kicked) in the nuts.

---

Sure, it’s common knowledge.

I get it.

But I’m speaking as an experienced mixed martial artist, currently training for an instructor license in Contemporary Jeet Kune Do. (Combat MMA, originally invented by Bruce Lee.)

You’d be amazed at how much high-level strategy is built around kicking or punching someone in the testicles.

Or at least feinting that you will.

Men are so protective of their little buddies down there, they’ll cover up, and leave the face and neck wide open.

It’s human nature for guys, to the point that Navy SEALS are trained in this type of street fighting.

Because when you think about it, a man’s balls are his legacy.

They contain the literal seeds of his DNA, that allow future iterations to exist.

Are we really surprised men are so protective?

---

And I say this as a guy who got kneed in the nuts, IRL, just the other night in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class.

Amelie and I joined the dojo last week, on a one year contract, as she’ll take the kid’s class, and I train with the adults afterwards.

Sure enough, a South Asian bloke from London got me in the family jewels, without THAT much force, and it stopped me cold.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOf.

Oof.

It hurts.

I asked right away if people wear cups in BJJ, but really, they don’t.

You lose too much mobility and agility, given the way the sport works.

(Though a mouthguard is a must, I was told, before you “roll,” or ground spar. )

Then again, I got metaphorically kicked in the man parts this weekend too, by my teenager, and it hurt even more!

(Though I was not alone. Arsenal, Brighton, the Brooklyn Nets, and the Philadelphia Eagles all know how I feel right now.)

And that’s where I want to land today.

The spiritual nut-punch.

---

Just last week, I had a former, (and perhaps future) friend offer me a proper apology, for some serious betrayal.

Dude punched me in the nuts, then spun around, and came back for a roundhouse-kick to the johnson!

He did the kind of thing that makes you never want to speak to someone again.

But I had a trio of friends cut me out of a group here in New Mexico, about 6 years ago, and none of them ever spoke to me again, or even told me what they’d collectively decided I’d done to deserve expulsion.

I never got to say a word, or hear a word, and that always stuck in my craw.

If a friend did me wrong in the future, I decided I’d give them a hearing, if the opportunity arose.

Last week it did.

---

Integrity is all about sticking to your moral code, once you’ve built one.

So I was curious to hear what this friend had to say.

The phone call was fascinating, as I assumed he would tell me there were awful things going on in his life, (at the time he shanked me,) which had jumbled him up from the inside.

Affected his decision-making.

Sure enough, that’s how life works.

He had:

Health issues.
Chronic pain.
Family stress.

In fairness, these were not used as excuses, but rather I sought to know what had been going on, to better understand how my friend could have done me dirty like that.

In hearing the issues were massive, and cortisol had been pumping through his system 24/7 at the time of our friendship problem, I was able to empathize.

And then forgive.

Maybe these are the lessons for today?

Relationships can’t heal, without accountability, and proper apologies.

(Without the capacity for empathy.)

And people rarely kick or punch someone in the nuts, unless they feel like they have no other options.

More likely, their subconscious is running the show, as with my teenager.

It’s a do-not-break-glass-in-case-of-emergency type situation; a kick in the nuts.

So keep it in your arsenal, sure, but please don’t attack our little buddies unless you must.

They get a bad rap, the testicles, but life on Earth requires men and women.

Yin and Yang.

Remember?

(Is this blog turning into The Dao of Dogs?)