Sunshine and Olly

by Jonathan Blaustein

“Hi, how are you?”

Such powerful words.

The key to any good check-in message.

Of course, you could always go with “How’s it going?”

Or “What’s up?”

Regardless, the concept is the same.

You think of someone, then send them a text to let them know you care. That you’re curious what’s been going on in their lives.

So you take the time to ask. You express interest, and start a conversation.

Study after study shows how valuable this simple little action can be, yet so few people actually do it.

Now, I know how effective the check-in can be, because I used it for years. Looking in on, and after, people helped me build a solid, global network in the photo industry.

But during the early stages of the pandemic, as the stress was high, I decided to see what would happen if I stopped checking in on certain friends.

Ones with whom the friendship seemed one-sided.

Deep down, I knew I’d done all the outreach, all the time. So let’s test it, I thought.

Sure enough, with certain of those people, (and 2 for 2 on the first experiment,) I never heard from them again.

Poof!

The friendship was gone, all because I dropped the rope.

This year, as I’ve transitioned out of the photo world, (for lack of work,) I decided to stop checking on on certain people again.

Focus on my own life, and see how many people cared to check in on me.

Sad truth, not very many.

But because I’ve been working so hard to embrace this new life, new teaching path, new body, and new martial art, (BJJ,) my family and I are charging into the future.

That’s now, thankfully.

Earlier in the year, however, as the Sunshine and Olly archive attests, I was miserable.

Lonely.
Unhealthy.
Lacking community.

Now I’m 40 lbs lighter, ripped, and just got my White Belt second stripe in jiu jitsu.

Sure, it hurts my feelings sometimes, knowing once I stopped doing the work, certain relationships fell by the wayside.

But it’s hard to build a new life while clinging to the vestiges of the old.

Onward.