Sunshine and Olly

by Jonathan Blaustein

---

Today is a national holiday in America, but I’m working later.

I’m down with honoring Dr Martin Luther King Jr, but have commitments, and aim to be there.

My life no longer revolves around the weekly deadline of an opinion-based photography column, nor consulting about photo books via Zoom, but these days, people IRL depend on me.

I have a regular Monday appointment, and am not rescheduling for the good Dr.

(Will definitely take a moment to think about him, though. Big ups for all you did for America!)

By now, if you’re reading this, you’ll likely remember I haven’t blogged for a very long time.

No emails have turned up in your inbox, nor reminders on social media to go check out my musings.

For the better part of 11 years, my life was defined by sharing thoughts, (and vitally personal details) about my life, with a global internet audience, every week, come rain or snow.

Having a weekly, public diary on APE was my primary artistic outlet, which went a long way towards whatever self-care I was afforded, in that decade+ phase.

Sharing, and at times over-sharing, was required, in order to outboard my stress, and process my life experiences.

In short, I was overly reliant on it, and once I left the industry at the beginning of last year, of course I started Sunshine and Olly to make sure the writing/blogging/public journaling outlet was available to me.

Bit by bit, though, as 2023 unspooled, I found myself taking less and less solace in this process.

Denied the large audience my bigger platforms once afforded, (The New York Times is as big as they come,) I began to question for whom I was writing anymore?

More importantly, I questioned whether I really needed approval from an amorphous, digital audience anyway?

(Especially at a time when it was CRYSTAL clear that swaths of the readership now considered me an old, cis, white-guy-Jew, of low status, rendering my opinions less valuable.)

Once, I craved the approval.

Sure.

I know that.

But 2023 pushed me so hard, in so many ways, to figure out my shit, that I’m actually healthy for the first time ever.

Fit, strong, and helping other people get that way, via one of the other passions I developed the past 10 years: martial arts.

I talk with my clients about how important it is to diversify our stress outlets, so we’re not overly reliant on any one at a given time.

2023 taught me the more I invested in getting my body right, to help my mind and heart, the better off I was.

Creative practice is vital, but if we put too much on it, and don’t develop concomitant stress/health outlets, the pressure degrades creativity.

Not good.

If I write here now, it’s because I feel compelled.

Because I have a damn good reason.

Because something of significance happens, that’s worth processing, or sharing.

In this case, right before my hiatus, (and trust me, LOTS of big things have happened since I went dark,) I wrote a piece about the value of the check-in.

How powerful it can be to let someone know you care.

Sure enough, last week, I got a (somewhat cryptic) email from Stan Banos, my most faithful reader over all the years. (Beyond my wife, of course.)

Because I’d gone dark on the blog, Stan wanted to see if I was OK?

Because he cares.

Oh man, what a lovely gesture. Thanks so much!

So here’s to you, Stan. If every now and again, I get a bug up my ass to write about something, (or someone,) at least I know you’re out there.

Paying attention.

Reading along.