Sunshine and Olly

by Jonathan Blaustein

I read a fascinating article the other week.

I’d suggest you read it too, but I’m not sure it’s available at the moment.

Because, as you might have heard, Road & Track, as a part of a program sponsored by an energy company, sent a freelance, millennial, socialist journalist named Kate Wagner on a first-class F1 junket to Austin, TX.

Given how blindingly obvious it was that she’d come out guns ablazin’, (and she did,) that Road & Track was surprised with the results proves that no one was paying the slightest bit of attention.

Once they figured out what they’d done, they pulled the article as if it had never existed.

Thankfully, it was saved as a .pdf, and I got to read it.

One line stuck with me, as I’d said it recently to Jessie, with respect to someone with whom I’ve got beef:

“They’d rather be right than happy.”In the case of the R&T article, the writer said it about herself.

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Lately, I’ve found it harder and harder to be around people who have a low opinion of me.

People who insult me, or drag me down.

It’s exhausting, building up all this positive energy, only to have to rebuild it again, once someone has thrown all their punches in my direction.

My wife and I teach our children: if you’ve said or done something to offend a loved one, you apologize, take responsiblity, and move on.

It’s Sesame-Street-level human decency.

(Though I do hate that fucking Elmo. Larry David was right.)

Treat people well, and if you slip up, because you’re having a bad day, or there was a misunderstanding, then say sorry.

That’s it.

But some people see apologies as weakness, and simply refuse.

It’s what drives all those Trumpers.

Simultaneously, another person in my life with whom I have beef, said some really unkind things on my birthday.

Called me “crazy,” and implied I was a failure, because I hadn’t become rich as a photographer.

Never mind two other people, in the last week, confided with me they’d left the field as well, things were so bad.

No, I was a disappointment.

When I asked for an apology, for saying such unkind things on such an important day, I was called “disturbed,” and a “pussy.”

(Not making this up.)

What could be more Trumper than refusing to apologize?

Probably calling them a “pussy.”

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Here’s an idea.

How about when someone admits they’re having trouble, instead of telling them what they did wrong, asking “How can I help?”

Really, be honest.

How many times has someone said to you, “How can I help,” when you really needed help?

Not when someone waited for you to come begging.

Or watched you suffer, from a bemused distance.

But actually noted you needed help, and took it upon themselves to offer, out of the goodness of their hearts?

Anyway…

…as my kids like to say, in conclusion, if you’re not prepared to accept another person’s reality, their feelings, how they see things, without resorting to calling them mentally ill…

You might be a Trumper.

Learn to apologize.
Offer to help.

You’ll be happier.

I promise.