Sunshine and Olly

by Jessie Kaufman

Hello Sunshine and Olly readers.  

This is Jessie again.  

Thank you so much for reading, and making me feel so welcome.  The writing today might have some painful triggers, but if you are game, here we go….

In February of my freshman year of college, I witnessed Wilson die. (He was one of my best friends.) Wilson had an unknown heart condition: one moment we were joking in front of the dorm, the next he was convulsing on the floor and then he was gone. 

College life doesn’t offer a lot of sign posts for someone in deep grief. The night Wilson died, the sounds of parties echoed through my dorm room. 

My one respite was a class in Buddhist studies.  

I read, and re-read passages about Buddhist monks and nuns meditating in front of corpses, to help me navigate how to endure the images of Wilson’s body implanted in my mind.  

It was also through that class that I got invited to a retreat with Thich Nhat Hanh, and my whole life changed. At that retreat, I experienced more peace, joy, and gratitude than I knew was possible.  

By the end of that weekend, a new life goal had been formed, become a Buddhist nun.

So not long after I graduated from college, I made my way to Plum Village, Thich Nhat Hanh’s monastery in France. During my training, Thich Nhat Hanh would always instruct us to do the dishes like we were washing the baby Buddha.  

That teaching rose from my memories last night, as I watched the coverage of the LA fires. A reporter was interviewing a tearful mother, soothing two distraught children. The mom had just learned her home had been completely destroyed, and she said to the reporter, “All I want right now is to go home and do the dishes. Something so simple so ordinary, but I can’t.”

So last night, even though I was really tired, I washed each dish like it was the baby Buddha, with such gratitude for my home and for the simple ordinary things. I also remembered how the shattering pain of Wilson’s death led me to one of my greatest teachers.  

Sending Love to LA.


If you would like to donate, I love this organization - World Central Kitchen - by José Andrés.